Inclusion makes you grin.

Being included makes you grin. 
Noah was invited to his 2nd pool party this year and you can see how delighted he is.

Noah couldn’t do any of the activities the other kids were doing. None of them. We knew that before we went. And it didn’t matter at all, in anyway. In his words “he had the best day ever” just floating around near his mates, getting to hang in the wave pool with them and splash them all of course!

It would have been so easy to decide that it would be “unfair” to invite Noah.. or that it would be “too hard” for him.

We are so so grateful to the people who see Noah as the great mate he is, another classmate they want to have along, just another person in the gang. 
Because that’s what he is. Just like all the other kids.

He doesn’t have special needs, he has the same needs as everyone else. To be seen, heard, included and loved. 
He’s got additional needs to help him join in.. but we will always find a way to do that.

The photos show him having a ball in the water and then out having a rest, getting warmed up, having a top up of fluids and grinning whilst he watched his mates climb the cargo net.

Thank you with all our heart to the people who see him. Who invite him. This day wasn’t about him. It’s about the amazing birthday girl and we were thrilled to be given the opportunity to be there too.

Be like Elsa..

Are things going well with your complex kid but you are waiting for the "bad thing" to happen?

I totally get it....I've felt that way too.

Of course we worry about our children…having kids is like having your heart walking around outside of our body and do whatever it likes. The feeling are as strong as if it were ourselves but we can’t control this little person.

When we are on the negativity loop we look and wait for the bad stuff to happy and that’s where so many of us end up. 
In the loop…over and over.

Instead of enjoying today and looking for a positive or a gratitude (anything at all, could be something tiny) …we are thinking f@$& "What if today is the day something goes wrong" I get it!!

Not only does it steal any joy from the days things are going well it also keeps us feeling on edge and anxious. 
Waiting for the shoe to drop is super common and we have ALL been there. More than once.

…but I also know living in the "what if" isn’t going to help him NOT have a reaction/seizure/anything else.

You know this too. There is freedom in the living in the "what is" instead of what might be. It’s all just a story we made up anyway.

Where your focus goes your energy will go and if you focus is on pain and suffering and the "might be" your energy will be there too.

The only truth is here and now…so …be like Elsa…let it go…and enjoy the peace xxx

There is no amount of worry that will control tomorrow. It only takes away today’s peace.

The greatest gift you can give your children

Life isn’t easy.
We ALL have challenges. Some seem insurmountable and others just a temporary blip but all of them will change and mould out thoughts and our actions.

But loving and lifting yourself up through adversity will be the greatest gift you can give to your children.

Showing our kids that we have the courage to empower ourselves one step at a time is so important.

Showing our kids we can learn resilience and grit and that these will be essential skills for them too on their path through life.

Putting ourselves last isn’t the answer, no matter how tempting it is. No matter how hard it is to remember ourselves on the list of things to look after. 
We are important. 
Not only are we the linchpin that holds the gang together...but by demonstrating these skills to our kids…we can show them there is a way forward, a path through the obstacles that they face and there is a joy and a happiness to the journey they are on.

Mirroring and modelling these life skills for your children will set them free.

So if you can’t do it for you, do it for them.
It will be the greatest gift you can give to them.

Beautiful Neurodivergent patchwork

Some days, at a very base level, it's syringes, tears, therapies and hospitals.
But that’s not all it is.

It’s also supporting our children beyond what the doctors THINK is possible into what they WANT to achieve.
It’s about showing them what’s possible not just probable and trusting their hearts and soul them with that dream.
It’s about taking what’s not likely and making it a goal.

It’s about accepting their neuro diversity as the next stage of evolution that we don’t understand yet.

It’s about showing them what’s possible or supporting them in the ' impossible’. 
It’s running through the waves with them so they can feel the sea splash on their face.
It's carrying them down a waterfall just so they can see the rainbow through the water.
It’s using a shower chair so they can feel what it’s like to have their day washed away. 
It’s taking what others take for granted and making a pathway for them to experience it too.

It’s finding a way.
It's doing it tough. 
It’s feeling the sunbeams shine through your heart when you nail it and the searing pain of not being able to make it happen.

It’s carrying your kid up three flights of foam steps in a play centre and holding them up so you can help them use a foam ball blaster. 
It’s getting in the water at pool party and moving them with their class mates so that they can be part of the fun.
It’s being grateful that you have one safe food and that today they will be able to swallow that chip like their mates. 
It’s carrying someone half your body weight across wet sand so they can see a dinosaur footprint.

It’s championing diversity so that is becomes everyday to their mates too, so the world they grown up in accepts them as equal. 
It’s knowing that harder isn’t always worse.

The world is what we create for our people and the world will see them through our eyes. 
It’s the privilege of a perspective we never could have known without the guidance of the not “typical".

It’s not about separating.. it’s about coming together. Society is a patchwork of people and we need every different square and every stitch.

Disability, Diversity, difference is an essential part of that neurodivergent patchwork and I am so grateful I get to see the world this way.

Inclusion not Integration

School is about to get started again and all sorts of children will be heading to the classroom.

Ordinary kids alongside ordinary kids with additional needs. Kids on wheels or on walkers or on foot. Kids who talk using computers, kids who talk with their smiles and kids that use words. Some that can write and some that can type. Some that eat with their mouths and some that eat with a tube.

Our children are so diverse and thank goodness for that.

To be able to see the world through so many different perspectives is wonderful. It's a gift.

I wanted to share with you the difference between Integration and Inclusion.

Integration puts people in the different groups and whilst often done with good intention, leads to exclusion and separation. It leads to kids with additional needs not being included in friendship groups and in play. Kids can only mirror what they are taught and if they are taught to fear difference and keep people seperate, then that's what they will demonstrate.

Inclusion believes ALL children are different (because they are horray!) and ALL children learn and play in their own way. Inclusion helps everyone. Inclusion is acceptance and respect for all.

For their rest of their lives children with meet with people who are different to them....in so very many ways...our world is a many splendored thing and every person has value to bring to a community. Teach them now that diversity and difference is the reason our world is so utterly wonderful. We must encourage them to meet this difference with openness, love, kindness and curiosity and not with fear.

Kids with differences want just what other kids want, it's not a "special need"
So please encourage your kids to include them. To see if they want to play, to ask if they can wheel them outside, to read with them, to chat with them...all the things you would do at playtime or in class.

Not being able to walk, or talk, or write doesn't take away from the fact they do want connection and friendship...just the same as everyone else.

Inclusion is about belonging as this wonderful photo of Noah and his mate Tilly shows.

We are lucky Noah has so many wonderful friends.

He's just Noah to them. Not Noah on wheels, or with the tube, or with the plastic legs...just Noah. How wonderful is that.